An open relationship means that the partners are not monogamous. That is, both partners agree to be sexually or romantically intimate with other people in addition. However, for an open relationship to work, clear rules and boundaries must be established in advance, one’s needs must be honestly stated, and clear communication must be maintained. Here’s what you need to know about open relationships and how to make sure your relationship is and stays healthy for everyone involved.
What is an open relationship?
Open relationships are very different from cheating or affairs, because they always begin with the consent of everyone involved. So the key characteristic is that both partners* agree to an open relationship.
Just as in monogamous relationships, there are rules, boundaries, and expectations that define what the partners agree to. For example, some couples in open relationships agree to meet only with strangers, while other couples have the freedom to explore intimacy with acquaintances and friends as well.
Define rules: Here’s how to make your open relationship work.
When you start an open relationship, you may need to make some agreements to make sure your relationship works as an open relationship. Here are some tips that can help you:
1. set clear rules and boundaries for the relationship.
An open relationship is only healthy if both partners* agree to it and both have communicated their boundaries and expectations and agree to it.
Important: There are no boundaries that are right or wrong. Each couple may have different boundaries and desires that work best for them. For example, one couple may decide that outside relationships should be sexual only, while another couple may be open to emotional relationships.
You can ask yourselves the following questions to figure out your rules and boundaries:
- What are you allowed to do with other people?
- What are you okay with your partner being intimate with other people?
- Is having sex with other people okay?
- If sex is okay for both of you, how do you define sex?
- Is emotional intimacy with other people allowed?
- Do the other partners have to be complete strangers or people in your social network?
2. clear communication
Every relationship needs communication, but in open relationships it’s even more important that all expectations and boundaries are clear.
No one can read minds; if you want or don’t want something, you need to make that clear. For example, if you are jealous, it is important that you communicate this rather than hiding your feelings and working it out with yourself alone.
If you find that you are hiding information or feelings from your partner, this may be a sign that you need to make a change in your relationship and redefine your rules.
3. be honest with yourself
In order to have a healthy open relationship, you should be open about your feelings – because in some cases, people may be convinced that they don’t mind their partner seeing other people – but when it actually happens, it can break the other person’s heart. So if you agree to an open relationship just to keep the relationship going and not lose your partner, it’s a sign that your open relationship probably won’t be healthy.
So try to be honest with yourself and your ideas of a relationship first before agreeing to an open relationship.
4. schedule regular conversations and check-ins
At the beginning of an open relationship, it is difficult to predict exactly what situations and emotions will come up. Therefore, it’s important to make time for each other on a regular basis to discuss what’s working, what’s not, and how you’ve been feeling in certain situations.
Conclusion
An open relationship can be a good option for partners* who want to stay together but also date other people. However, to have a healthy open relationship, you need to communicate openly, be honest, and make sure that everyone involved feels safe and comfortable.