Talking about sex with your partner can be difficult in relationships. Many people are afraid of hurting their partner’s feelings if they bring up the subject. Especially if what they want to say has something to do with a lack of satisfaction. In this article, we’ll show you how couples can have conversations about sex, improve their sex life, and how to get closer to your partner in the relationship again.
Be aware of what you want to achieve with the conversation in your relationship.
Before you sit down with your partner to talk about sex, think about your own needs and desires. Why do you want to talk about sex with your partner? Is there a specific problem – an area where you don’t feel as good as you could be? How could you feel more satisfied?
Defining your thoughts in advance in this way will give you a better idea of what you’re actually trying to say, and avoid communicating in too general or negative a way: “I just don’t enjoy it” or something similar. Such statements are unreflective, can hurt, and will not move your partnership forward.
How to communicate correctly
When it comes to how to talk about sex in a partnership, there is no universal recipe. But these two principles will help you – be honest and be empathetic.
- Try to be completely open and not “talk around it”
Whether it’s about how many times a week or month you have sex, what things you’d like to try, or if there’s something specific you’d like to do differently: If you stay too vague, it can be frustrating and confusing for your partner. To increase your desire for sex, it takes empathetic but clear words in your conversations that will bring you back together, even years into the relationship.
- Be sensitive and gentle when talking about sex.
Try to be positive and describe your desires to your partner. “I like …, but I would love it if we could spend a little more time on …” rather than saying “We never do …” or “You always do …”. If you haven’t had open conversations about sex before, be extra empathetic – because especially in long relationships, sex can be a sensitive topic.
That way, your partner will feel less attacked or hurt, and will recognize that you’re basically expressing something about yourself – namely, a desire or need. Don’t reproach.
- It’s important to be open to feedback yourself in a relationship
Ultimately, your sex life isn’t just about you, it’s about both of you. There may also be things your partner would like to do differently. By having a conversation, you also give your significant other the space to be open and honest. Being willing to talk, be honest, and resist the urge to justify yourself is essential to having a valuable and productive conversation that brings you closer together.
Conclusion
Once you start talking about your sex life, you’ll be surprised at how easier it is. If you get into the habit of talking about your love life on a regular basis, you’ll both be able to take a much more active role in your sex life and be able to handle future challenges before they become huge problems.